Sometimes, life plays one of its cosmic jokes and dumps on us – big time. Well, there are several ways we can help ourselves to cope with those occasions…
We can assume and believe that life does things FOR us and not TO us – and if you believe it you’ll always discover it to be absolutely true. You’ll never see it at the time, but keep believing it and you’ll see that the jig-saw DOES just fall into place, eventually. Of course, if you don’t believe it, then you’ll never observe that happy fact because you won’t be looking for it and you’ll find instead, exactly what you look for instead – that life dumps on you pointlessly and that it’s not fair. Not half so useful as believing that good will come from even the most uncomfortable experience and discovering it to be true!
We can discover what part WE played to bring about the latest catastrophe – most of the time, folk seek to prove that it was NOTHING to do with them, that it could not have been avoided… so they can very easily have exactly the same thing happen again. They have to believe that it was out of their control, while those who seek out their part in the event(s) recognise that they are at least partly in control of their own destiny. It feels better that way.
We can recognise that once something has happened, it can never be Unhappened and no amount of loud cursing will ever change that fact. Shouting, yelling, accusing and apportioning blame just makes us feel worse by changing our body chemistry – and whatever has happened has still happened. Kicking a door in means that whatever has happened has still happened AND you have a door with a hole in it…
And when somebody criticises you, recognise that they are telling you something about themselves, not anything about you. YOU know how YOU are – the other person is only telling you what THEY think – and what they think is based on their own self and is nothing to do with you at all. A person suffering from overweight might accuse somebody whose build is normal of being anorexic; somebody who is anorexic might accuse that same person of normal build of being as fat as a pig. A male who’s ‘past his prime’ might accuse a youngster of being ‘sex mad’. A woman who thinks – or fears – herself plain, might refer to an evidently attractive woman as ‘a little tart’.
So be careful when you deliver a criticism!