You Are Unique and Special
Let me ask you a question?
You are the only person who will be with you all of your life, you have a responsibility to look after your body and mind the best way you can. Do you treat yourself with the kindness and compassion that you truly deserve?
In answering this question please give some thought to how you’re feeling physically, are you tired, sleeping well and eating well? How are you feeling emotionally, stressed, angry, frustrated or perhaps sad?
We’ve all been there feeling bogged down, overwhelmed or stuck on that treadmill. Commitments and responsibilities piling up and less and less time for ourselves. The upshot is those unhealthy coping strategies come to the fore, instant gratification with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping or gambling, they kick in and become stronger and stronger.
Then, feeling better in the moment is very quickly replaced with feelings of weakness, guilt, shame and despondency. This leads to an increase in stress, with an associated reduced ability to think well and an increase in fatigue. So, to feel better we turn to our chosen vice and off we go again, this self perpetuating cycle eroding confidence and self esteem with each turn.
Halleluiah! A moment of clarity and the decision is taken to change and step away from this lifestyle. So what do you do?
Some people turn to self help books and there are many. Each has it’s place and for some people they will find the one that “talks to them” and they engage with the philosophy and actions needed to make their change.
For others the self help book won’t hit the mark and they remain searching, more books, Gurus and Youtube videos. You might hit it lucky and find the one that is going to make the difference and you may not. You may find the one that makes a difference for a wee while and then a life event happens to throw you off track and you’re back on that cycle. Feeling not only the negative emotions you felt before but a huge serving of anger and frustration is added because, you were doing really well and now you feel like you’ve failed.
I notice on social media a huge amount of advice around mindset, mental and emotional wellbeing and how to be the best you can be. Some of this advice is helpful others causes me concern, let me tell you why.
Our life experiences and responses are on a spectrum ranging from mild to intense. Our thinking styles, life experiences and expectations are unique and have a huge impact on how we cope and function. Lives are changing and evolving all the time, so the solution to each person’s challenge is going to be different. Granted there is a broad framework of change that will help each of us move forward. However for the change to be long lasting the solution has to be as unique as the person making the change. If you are one of those people stuck on a cycle and not able to make the changes by following the advice out there, do not despair, you are not weak, or a failure and you are not destined to be stuck forever. You are unique and special. Your solution needs to be designed with your challenges hopes and dreams in mind.
Whilst some advice and interventions can help you feel good in the moment and begin to make a change, not all will help you reach the goal of having changed your behaviour. So, the risk of relapse is high and with that all those negative feelings, guilt, shame weakness and despondency.
I help people break their cycle and change their lives with the view to them having control over the way they think feel and behave. By teaching strategies and techniques to help when life gets tough and the pressure is on you remain in control. That doesn’t mean that bad things don’t happen it just means that you will have healthy coping strategies and techniques in your personal tool bag to help you do and feel the best you can in the situation.
You are unique and special, you deserve to treat yourself well and to live a full and satisfying life. My belief is that for you to be the best you can be you have to be in balance. By that I mean treat those around you with kindness, be open to help and treat yourself well. This is not a woolly fluffy approach as it does mean that hard decisions will need to be taken to get the best out of you and the life you are creating and living.
I hope you found this helpful and if you have comments, questions or want to discuss it further please get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.