Loneliness

Why do we feel lonely?  Loneliness is a psychological mechanism which motivates people to seek social connections. Feelings of loneliness could be caused by certain life events, times of year or personal circumstances.  Certain life events may lead to feelings of loneliness. A few examples could be:  Grief or bereavement Starting university or a new job Birthdays Moving house Relationship breakups Falling out with a friend Retiring  Some people may be more vulnerable to loneliness than others. Some of these personal circumstances may be:  Caring for someone Having little money and not being able to afford to particpate in activities with others Having a heavy workload Having no friends Being estranged from family Experience discrimination and therefore isolation Have experienced abuse and find it harder to form close attachments Being in an abusive relationship Suffering with social anxiety/phobia Those who have mental health problems may experience increased loneliness   Certain times of year can also exasibate feelings of loneliness such as Christmas, birthdays or Valentine's Day.  Research has also shown that the COVID-19 pandemic has led to a rise in the number of people feeling lonely. According to a survey of UK adults which took place 9 months into COVID-19 restrictions (late November 2020) one in four (24%) adults in the UK said they had feelings of loneliness in the previous two weeks.  People who experience social anxiety (also known as social phobia) find it difficult to engage in everyday activities which involve other people. This could lead to a lack of social contact and therefore increased feelings of loneliness. Loneliness is not a mental health illness but it is associated with an increased risk of mental health issues such as: depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, insomnia and increased stress. 

How can we manage feelings of loneliness?  1. Meet new people  Meeting new people can be daunting. Taking it slow and making small steps will help. As a first step, attending online events might make things less intimidating. Other ways to meet new people could be:  Peer support through online communities (such as SanaMente's online Strive community) Trying something new - you could try joining a class or group to develop new skills and hobbies and meet like-minded people Volunteering Befriending services  2. Strengthen existing relationships  Opening up to our existing friends and family members can be a good way to manage feelings of loneliness. Often it can be the case that we have existing relationships with people but we don't feel close to them.   To combat this, telling our existing connections how we are feeling and becoming more vulnerable will help to build trust and intimacy and therefore strengthen the existing bond.  3. Be mindful of social media use  We all compare ourselves to others. Whilst it's something we all do, it is often damaging to us. Comparing our lives to other people's can lead to lower self-esteem which is linked to loneliness.